Garret Vliet

Senior, Bass, Business Manager

Deep within the oceans of Titan, Saturn’s largest moon, something stirred beneath the thick sheets of ice. Eighteen years and seven months ago, the last living mother whale laid a dozen eggs in the depths, passing away shortly after. Without the mothers protection, slowly, all but one of the eggs were gobbled up by various alien life forms. One egg, however, hatching two months premature, would do the impossible. He built a rudimentary trebuchet with a counter weight heavy enough to launch his body weight at the required escape velocity to leave Titan behind. He knew not where it would send him, only that wherever he landed would surely be better. His trip came to a sudden halt at the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. Changing his form to blend in, he noticed some extremely well placed sidewalk chalk coaxing him to audition for the CU Buffoons, and the rest is history. Not having an Earth name, we immediately sought the counsel of the rap name generator, which suggested either Pugnacious Juice or simply “Diamond$”, but we scratched that and just named him after Luke’s uncle’s python Garret Vliet.