Ryan Flat

Senior, Bass

The green spirit was strong within the group when we decided to become gardeners one day. Setting out, we were able to create a lovely little vegetable garden in the first day. Over the following months, the veggies would grow and ripen, all at roughly the same time. When the harvest was ready in late August, we all walked down to the garden hand in hand, only to find all our delicious, fresh bounty gone. Upon a rock off to the side of the garden, laid a little rabbit man, passed out and basking in the late afternoon sun. He must’ve sensed us, and in the blink of an eye, jumped 15 feet into the air, transformed into an actual man, and landed gracefully in front of us. Dumbfounded, we proceeded to introduce ourselves as the CU Buffoons, founded in 1962, making us 59 years old, to the strange creature. He named himself Ryan, but with no last name, he chose to be of the family Flat, for he was a Bass. We struck a deal to continue to plant and grow produce for Ryan to munch so long as he supplies us with sultry bass and soothing tones.